How to teach him the first rules of politeness?

How to teach him the first rules of politeness?

Say hello, thank you, goodbye, this is the B.A BA of politeness. How to teach a little these words of courtesy? The advice of our specialists.

The advice of three specialists in the field of childhood and good manners: Christine Brunet, clinical psychologist, Dominique Picard, professor of social psychology, and Geneviève d'Angenstein, founder of the French School of Courtesy.

" Hello Goodbye "

  • Since your child was born, you rocked him with these polite codes. Every day you say "hello" to him when he wakes up and "goodbye" when you sleep. By creating habits and politeness rituals, you help him to appropriate these codes.
  • Around 8 months, you can teach him to say goodbye with his hand when he leaves a room. Encourage him by congratulating him, he will be proud!

What if he refuses to say "hello"?

  • Do not steer yourself systematically, at the risk of crystallizing an opposition around this subject. Your toddler may be emotional or shy. Explain that you are going to say hello to him because it is essential to show a sign of appreciation to the person to whom you are addressing. He did not greet his grandmother, but insists on showing him his new toy when he arrives? He has not yet entered the code, but it is on track. A young child can also say hello with a look or a smile.

"Thank you", "Please"

  • Familiarize with these words "magic" from the first months. He manages to grab a cube and gives it to you? Thank him by emphasizing your gratitude. As soon as he knows how to speak, invert this little game by handing him an object so that he understands that it is his turn to thank you.
  • In the early days, it is through imitation and play that your child will tame these codes of politeness. He wants to play the merchant? This is a perfect opportunity to revise the basics.

" Sorry "

  • Apologizing is important, but your child needs time to understand the meaning of this word. This will come by socializing, in contact with the group. He pushed a friend to the park? Suggest that he make a drawing for forgiveness, it will be more meaningful for him.

Cut the floor, no thanks!

  • Just as we sit at the table, we behave well in conversation. Your little talking mill must learn not to cut the talk of others and not to shout if his brothers and sisters do not let him speak.
  • Politeness is part of education and sets boundaries. Explain to him that he can participate in the conversation but that he must wait his turn because the whole family must be able to share his ideas in the ease and the courtesy.
  • The code of politeness is that we do not raise the tone to speak and that we do not interrupt the other before he has reached the end of his idea. Not easy for your little talker. Fortunately, these rules of speaking are put into practice every day at school.

Bad words, it's forbidden

  • "Sea ...!" Where does that big word come from? From school ? Maybe, but are you sure to monitor your own language at home? Again, your role as a model is very important. If you are sure that your child has not heard any rudeness at home, it is useless to fall into catastrophism.
  • At the age of 3, your child discovers the power of words and this one seems to have a very big, given your head! For this to not happen again, remind him why big words are forbidden. You can also choose to joke about it: "I thought you had just said rudeness, but I think I did not hear well because a polite child would not have said that." If he is taller, he can also try to test your authority. In this case, your answer must be clear about what you accept or not.

But also…

  • He's coughing ? Teach your child to put his hand in front of his mouth so he does not share his germs, the same when he sneezes.
  • Punctuality. For Louis XVIII, "punctuality is the politeness of kings". But again, if you urge your child to be on time at school, set an example by not dropping him 10 minutes late at his dance class.

Council +

  • Do not ask your child too much by submerging him with rules, especially if he is small. Go on as you go and always in a good mood. If it's hard to remember, help yourself books (our selection) to address the subject.

Stéphanie Letellier

* Coauthor with Aurore Aimelet of Say hello to the lady!, Ed. Albin Michel