This is an important step for your toddler, as you well understood. From there to know everything about this psychoanalytic theory, there is a big step! Explanations and tips to become unbeatable on the subject.
The Oedipus complex begins when a little boy says he wants to be in love with his mother
- True ! These inflamed statements, which occur between 3 and 5 years, sound the beginning of the great oedipal upheaval! Sometimes it can take a little different forms, more by gestures than by words: a little girl trying to kiss her daddy on the mouth, a little boy trying to touch her mom's breasts. But one thing is certain, from that moment, your toddler is animated by a real desire for your body or that of your spouse: he is in the register of sensuality, and not only in that of tenderness subsidiary company. Of course, this outbreak of infantile sexuality is completely unconscious for him.
- Council + : No question of "breaking" your toddler by rejecting him brutally when he has a tendency to mimic: he would deduce that adopting a position of seduction is "bad". These are the bases of his future love relationships that you could annoy ... "You can not be my lover because you are my child and I already have a lover of my age or that I will have one soon." a few words and no-nonsense, you have stated a fundamental landmark: the prohibition of incest.
During the oedipal crisis, your child will necessarily adulate the parent of the opposite sex and reject the same sex
In parallel, a little boy may very well have amorous movements towards his father and a little girl for his mother.
- False! It's not nearly as manichean! Because your child is attracted to his opposite sex parent, he feels the "other" of the same sex as a rival to be eliminated. Logic. But at the same time, this "other" has seduced the object of his love: your child thinks that it would therefore be best to try to resemble him to achieve his ends. From where a very strong impetus of identification vis-à-vis the parent of the same sex. Until then, you follow ... but now it gets more complicated! In parallel, a little boy may very well have amorous movements towards his father and a little girl for his mother. Simply because every human being is home to bisexuality: in a toddler, sexual orientation is not yet defined, this will be done after puberty.
- Council + : A true hodgepodge: a very appropriate term to reflect the complexity of the urges that your little Oedipal feels! Faced with this, he especially needs your calm and your serenity. Whether he tries to seduce you, to resemble you, or to reject you, do not make fun of him, do not belittle him.
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